I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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