the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
please come you make the beer taste better
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
