can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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