he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
