He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
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he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
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i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.