ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!