People in love make me want to vomit
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.