No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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