Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize