so explain again why im purple
no
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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