So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
