Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
