just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
