Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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