I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
