See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
