Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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