i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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