I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She is in my trunk
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
