It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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