Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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