also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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