Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
