when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize