just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
