her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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