My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
