apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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