Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We left the knife in your bed.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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