the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
