the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
