Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
