is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
