The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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