Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
