You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
