i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
