Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
