Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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