Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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