you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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