The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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