$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
