Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize