I wanna passion pit in your ass
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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