I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
