Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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