NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
