What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
