if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
