so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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