Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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