Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
accomplished twins. life is a go
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
