Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
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He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
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Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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