You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
