This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
