I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
