K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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