I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm having to shit out rocks
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