Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
