Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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